so happy that Magnolia Claire slept from 10pm-6am Saturday night!

I watched her sleep as Sammy was crazy and up a good bit of the night,

but I am glad because now I know that a good nights rest is in my near future

(knock on wood).



so I have really been trying to have a more positive attitude because lets face it I have been in a hole for the last three years...I think I can pinpoint it to a day, Sam was a little over three weeks old, we just moved into our house (pre renovations) Chris was on call, I was going to church by myself and doing sharing time. There was nobody there to help after he was born and I was pretty depressed and I thought this is HORRIBLE!!! There is no way I can possibly do this!



So add some more children, and stresses financially, emotionally, etc. I have been just trying to survive. That is no way to live, no way to be a good example to your children.

I want my kids to be happy, a few things have happened in the last little while with them some choices have been made that I know they cannot be happy about. I know I was not and it is hard to take, to be disappointed in their choices. I wish that my children could get inside my heart and feel all the love I have for them. I wish they could see themselves the way I do.



How can I expect them to be happy if I am not putting forth a good example. Not a perfect everything is wonderful everyday example but one that is realistic but not jaded.



What makes me happy??? what will make them happY???